Best Friend Break Up Advice
How to Deal when Your Best Friend Is Gay
When you get to know people, you may assume that they are heterosexual, but this is not always the case. If your friend comes out to you, you may be surprised by the news. However, it is very important to deal with the news in a kind and respectful way. If your friend is important to you, and you want to continue to have a strong relationship, you need to be good friend during their coming out. Listen to what your friend has to say, process your feelings yourself, and continue your relationship in a way that acknowledges your friend's sexual orientation but doesn't assume that everything has to be different between the two of you.
Supporting Your Friend While He or She Comes Out
Listen to what your friend has to say.You may already know that your friend is gay, however, it's important to let him or her actually say it to you. It took a lot of courage for your friend to address this issue, so give your full attention.
Don't interrupt your friend.Let your friend say what he or she wants to say. It is important to keep the focus on how they feel about coming out, rather than about your feelings on the matter.
Put your friend at ease.Tell your friend, "I love and support you." When your friend comes out to you he or she may be nervous that you will reject them after you hear the news. Quickly assure your friend that you love them and that, while the new may be surprising, it does not change your relationship together.
- That said, you may need some time to digest the news in order to come to terms with it. Tell your friend if that is the case, but be very nice about it. Try saying, "I am very surprised by the news but I love you and I just need a little time to process it." Remember he or she may be very sensitive at the moment.
Don't tell other people.It is important to respect your friend's privacy and not spread the word around your friend group and beyond. Instead, you should let your friend tell who he or she wants to. Coming out can be scary and intense, and you should leave that job up to your friend.
Coming to Terms With the News
Reflect on the news for a while.How do you feel? If you find it a bit confusing, or are struggling to come to terms with it, don't feel mad at yourself. The fact that you're trying to overcome this shows that you are a good friend.
Accept this as a part of a person you already know and love.Make a list of all the qualities you love about your friend. Remember, being gay doesn't mean your friend no longer has a great sense of humor or is kind or is loyal. That he or she told you, especially if they knew you'd struggle with it, shows bravery, honesty. and principles.
Decide whether you can continue the friendship.If you are really bothered by your friend's sexual orientation, then you may need to think about whether or not you can still be a good friend to this person. If you do not think that you can provide the person with the same quality of friendship, then it may be better for you to end the friendship. Before you decide what to do, take some time to consider your decision and the reasons behind it. Some questions you might ask yourself include:
- Does homosexuality conflict with your religious beliefs? Talk to a person you trust and respect about your difficulties. A religious leader can explain the position of your faith on the matter. Read literature from both sides of the debate, especially those with a religious background, and pray and meditate. Practice love and tolerance of all people of any lifestyle.
- Is it the fear of the unknown that is making you uncomfortable? Perhaps you support homosexuality or are a little on the fence, but are thrown as to how to actually handle certain topics.Practice love, tolerance and respect for all and you'll soon figure out the boundaries between you.
- Are you worried about what people will say? Research homosexuality well, reading informed debates and talking with people you trust. If you then don't have the conviction that homosexuality is natural and good, you may want to reconsider the friendship. Your friend needs strong, supportive, positive people around them to help deal with prejudice if it arises. If you can't be that person, it's the better thing to step away or distance yourself from the friendship.
Make your position clear on the issue of homosexuality.Maybe you're over the moon and you'll not only march in gay pride parades, but you want to organise some right now! Let your friend know that. However, if you aren't as accepting, you will need to have a potentially uncomfortable conversation with your friend.
- Your friend probably has a good idea of where you stand. However, if you have never discussed your negative feelings about homosexuality, let them know gently. Let them know you're happy they told you and you're supportive of their choice to live openly. That does not mean, however, that you want to get involved in their romantic life. Let them know what you're happy discussing or doing with them.
- Try hard to accept new things they tell you but don't listen or engage if it makes you very uncomfortable. A good friend will be grateful you're trying hard and respect your limits as they stand for the time being.
Accept your friend's identity.Acceptance can make a huge different in the lives of LGBTQIA (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Intersex, and Asexual) people.It tells them that they are not broken, and that their sexuality doesn't change others' love of them. Your friend may be craving acceptance, especially if they are ostracized, bullied, or abused because of their sexuality.
- Be proud of your friend and the strength he or she showed in making the choice of living openly. Also, encourage your friend to be proud of who he or she is. Basically, be your friend's cheerleader!
- Don't try to change your friend. Your friend has the right to express his or her sexual orientation. It is not your right to try to change that.
Continuing Your Friendship
Do things you have always done together.Just because your friend has come out, doesn't mean that everything has to change. If you enjoyed playing video games or going to the movies together, keep doing those things.
Advocate for your friend.Your friend may have come out to people who are less understanding. Talk to the other friends and try to convince them to work on their feelings and to be good friends. Your gay friend will need all the support he or she can get.
Learn about the LGBTQIA community.If you want to remain close friends, it's important to learn about your friend's new community. This may simply mean spending time with your new friends. It is important to familiarize yourself with your friend's new world, so that your relationship remains strong.
QuestionHe has told me and he stared crying, what do I do?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerMake sure he knows that he is loved and supported. It's obviously hard for him, and you need to be there for him.Thanks!
QuestionWhat should I do if I'm a Christian?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerIn the "love thy neighbor" sense, Christians can offer support and acceptance to LGBT people. Read what Jesus has to say about people who are ostracized and oppressed, and how to treat them. It is possible to be a good Christian and be friends with LGBT people at the same time. After, to be a good Christian is to love and accept all those around you.Thanks!
QuestionHow can I show support to my friend who is both gay and has AIDS?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerShow him unconditional acceptance, and make it clear that you don't blame him for his illness. Support him through difficult doctor visits, and let him cry on your shoulder when times are tough. Stand up for him if you see him being bullied. If you're having a hard time what he's going through, read personal accounts of people who have experienced the same things, and ask him about his feelings.Thanks!
QuestionMy friend is only 15, and I have found out through social media. She does not know that I'm aware of it. She keeps saying she needs to tell me something important, and I fear it's this. I'm scared for her to tell me, because I don't know how to react. What do I do?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerBecause you have found out inadvertently, you have time to sort out your feelings and react in a supportive way. If the idea of her sexuality is uncomfortable to you for any reason, think about why this is. Remind yourself that your friend is still the same person you have always know her to be, and that being gay is something she can't change. Once you feel able to accept her for who she is, tell her she can tell you anything, or bring up the subject yourself and say that you're OK with it.Thanks!
QuestionMy friend puts his arm around me evertime he's around me (I'm a boy) should I still be his friend?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerYes. Just because he's putting his arm around you doesn't mean that he's gay. Some people are are just touchy-feely. If you're uncomfortable with it, just tell him so.Thanks!
QuestionMy friend told me he is gay, but doesn't want me to tell anyone. What should I do?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerNothing. All you have to do is stay friends with him and support him when he needs it. Since he asked you not to tell anyone, you need to respect that and keep this secret to yourself until he's ready to let it out.Thanks!
QuestionI reconnected with an old friend who I haven't seen in almost 20 years who is now gay. I am afraid my wife might say something inappropriate when he comes by to visit. She doesn't know he is gay. What do I do?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerYou'll have to prep your wife so that she isn't caught off guard. Either that, or choose to meet your old friend at a coffee shop or someplace else.Thanks!
QuestionMy gay best friend loves me, and makes it really obvious. We live together and every night he spoons me and kisses my neck. I don't like it. What should I do?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerAre you sure he's gay? The best way to handle the situation is probably to sit down with him and talk about your relationship honestly. Let him know how much you care about him, but also let him know that you need to set certain boundaries (physical, verbal, etc.) to keep the relationship feeling safe for you. Don't apologize for how you feel, but be sympathetic to the fact that he may be a bit emotionally stung at first.Thanks!
QuestionWhat should I do if my 11 year old friend tells me she is in love with me, and wants to do inappropriate things with me?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerTell her that you love her as a friend, but not in a romantic way. Let her know you are uncomfortable with the things she wants to do. Hopefully she will understand and agree to just be friends. If that doesn't work, you may need to stay away for a while.Thanks!
QuestionI'm 11 years old, one of my friends said he loves me. Does that mean he's gay?wikiHow ContributorCommunity AnswerIt doesn't necessarily. He might mean that he just really values you as a friend. If he is gay, then politely explain that you like him as a friend, but that is all.Thanks!
Video: Dear Best Friend...
The 4 Rules Every Engaged Couple Should Follow While Wedding Planning
Heres what they are
3 Ways to Be Fearless
Tarragon Roast Chicken Recipe
How to Trade Forex
It Was Never A Dress: This Is How The Female Toilet Sign SHOULD Be
Step Inside The Colourful World Of Takashi Murakamis Tokyo Exhibitions
Holly Tucker – 2011 Mentor
How to Be Self Sufficient in a City
Hair Color Trends 2019
How to Play Clash of Clans
Mom Jeans Are Cool According To Celebrities
How to Make Vegan Pesto